I spent so many thoughts convincing myself that i am worthy. 
I spent so many efforts to show I was known. 
I spent so many nights thinking that i was right. 
I push my head to be stubborn in reaching my own goals. 
I never meant to intimidate you in a way. 
I thought I am friendly enough. 
I never thought I'm good enough tho. 
I wish I can go as far as I could, leaving right this second. 
I knew this would happen unexpectedly. 
I wish I knew all these values. 

We all have ever been tempted to be hopeful in a very hopeless situation. It's like the first time you open a door. This thing I'm feeling right now never felt this hard. I remember when I was child I always wish to grow up really soon so that I can do all things I was never allowed to do.  

Always be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire. 

Today, I did what I meant to do. 

I did everything I could so that they could relax their body a little and it would be nice to indulge me with a warm smile and support once in a time. 

Harsh words and under appreciated? Well, It stings a little. I suppose that's life. 

Silent heart, sealed mouth, so there is no judgement. 

And that is alright, I guess

At the end of the day, they were always there with me.. the light at the end of a very long tunnel. Like no sling nor arrow, no sword or storm cloud, could ever harm me. 

Alcohol, wise word and even laughter may not fix what is broken this time, but I'm sure things will be better off soon. I just wished someone told me before I wished something like this back then. 


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